And just like that...

... I feel (almost) better.

I forgot how quickly it happens. Two weeks ago Thursday, I had an absolutely terrible day. I was sick most of the time. I may have cried a lot.

Then I woke up Friday with no sickness at all. I thought I was just having one of those good days that happened so rarely. I took it easy, afraid that I would lose that feeling. 

Then Saturday came, and miraculously, I still felt great. I actually did laundry for the first time that day.

On Sunday, I made it to church with fifteen minutes left of Sacrament meeting (we have 8am church), a first in two months. Since I missed the sacrament, I took it in another ward later that day. Between the bread and the water, and with my eyes closed and my arms folded, I got the impression that it was time to be a normal mom again. It was the greatest feeling ever. That night I cooked dinner for the first time in a long while.

And of course by Monday morning, I was still feeling terrific. I hadn't been that happy since finding out I am pregnant. I took June to the library that day. We went to Joe's Farm Grill for lunch to share a "burgerfries" (as June calls it), we drove to Barnes and Noble where we read more books and played with the train set, got a vanilla ice cream cone (another daily occurrence for me), and drove by the Gilbert Temple to see its continued progress. (June loves seeing the temple and saying that Jesus lives there.)

It feels so incredibly, wonderfully, magnificently, great to be a mom again.

I did say before that I feel (almost) better. I still get a little queasy at night (I'm not sure if it's the pregnancy or the prenatal vitamins). And the painful and intense heartburn/indigestion started waaaaaaaay earlier this time around (I didn't get it until my third trimester with June). But these are nothing compared to what I was going through before. I'll take what I can get.

My summer vacation officially starts now.

What a week.

It's been a month since I blogged... I admit, it's been a sluggish month.

And to add to my sluggish month, it's been an even sluggier week. Yes, "sluggier". The news makes me want to sit in my pj's all day and eat Snickers. I don't even like Snickers, but I'm eating one right now. That's how much I don't like the news this week. (Except, of course, for the "helpers" we've seen in Boston. Isn't it inspiring?).

But hopefully things will pick up here in the next few weeks.

Until then, happy things:
1. The weather lately. Slow down, rising temperatures.
2. A new calling: back in Young Women's... let's do this.
3. I always think June's age is "the best age", but it only keeps getting better. I love a two-year-old June. LOVE.
4. Tiny strawberries in our garden. I still can't believe that seeds, sun, soil, and water make strawberries. It's incredible.
5. The West Wing on Netflix.
6. New Superman trailer. And this video of Patton Oswalt's Star Wars Filibuster.(Thanks Andrea). 
7. This recipe for Baked Ziti. Probably the best pasta I've ever made. Tip: add even more Ricotta Cheese.
8. My brother-in-law Michael (June calls him "Bike") was down the last week to work on the temple (He's putting in the stained glass windows). William was able to work with him too. The windows are GORGEOUS.
9. My favorite purse broke, and the same day, my mom donated one of her purses to me. Mom, you are an answer to my prayers. Thank you for being so stylish.
10. Last week, we went to the Desert Botanical Gardens. As a native Arizonan, I'm ashamed to say I'd never been. I love the desert in the spring... and the butterfly exhibit itself was completely worth it. Look:

Twenty-Thirteen

I'm trying not to feel too overwhelmed with my resolutions this year. There's so much I want to do and accomplish. Lists make me nervous, especially those days I feel unmotivated... but here goes nothing.

This year, the focus is HOME. It's hard not to focus on this in the first place, since I'm a stay-at-home mom anyway. Nevertheless, I know there is so much good in our home, but so much that can change and be better. I need to be the one to step it up.

·I want to make my home more organized and less cluttered.
·I want to be happy with how it looks, and not focus too much on what I wish I could change about it.
·I want to make our side yard useful (playing, gardening).
·I want to be in the kitchen more, trying new recipes, and making more wholesome lunches (homemade lunches do not happen as often as I'd like).
·I want to make more homemade desserts, and eat less candy
·I want homemade pizza to be a weekly meal.
·I want to play more music and turn off the TV.
·I want to read more to myself and to June.
·I want to develop a better morning and bedtime routines, at least for the weekdays. I can already tell June thrives on routines.

There's so much more, but I need to stop myself because I feel my nerves tightening. I'm really looking forward to a great year.

P.S. We partied with the Porters on New Year's Eve, and of course it didn't disappoint. In fact, I suspect that's why I was sick all of New Year's Day. I guess the best parties take everything out of you. Anyway, while I was wallowing in "sicky self-pity", I received this video documenting the party, and of course my gloomy demeanor turned to udder delight. June and I watched this video all morning:
NEW YEARS EVE from David Nuttall on Vimeo.

June was so happy to see a dance floor that night... You better believe I plan on having one at her birthday party in March.

Teachers

Photos by The Langs

I've been hugging June a little more lately. My heart has been heavy since Friday.

I'm not one to speak out much about events or issues, especially on this blog, my happy place. But I guess I need to heal a little bit.

My thoughts this last weekend was on being a teacher.

Since becoming a mom, this is my 2nd school year not working in an elementary school. I taught 5th grade for three years. I subbed before that. I was a student teacher before that. I volunteered in several classrooms (for college courses) before that. Teaching in elementary school has been a huge part of my life thus far.

Usually when someone asks me if I loved teaching school, I say "Yes... well, most days I loved it." 

It's true. I did love it. I feel like I was born to do it. I loved interacting with kids. I loved making them laugh. I loved teaching them a new concept, then watching them apply it. I loved telling stories, reading books, nourishing their creativity, celebrating the successes, learning their likes/dislikes, playing kickball, watching them make new friends, singing with them, discovering with them, etc. Teaching is so rewarding in these aspects. My hands are shaking even as I type this because I miss these aspects so so so very much.

But there were days when it was physically and emotionally so difficult to exert every portion of my energy, thought, effort, strength and soul towards 30 (or so) 5th graders. Thirty individuals I was trying to reach out to. Thirty individuals I was trying to help realize their potential. Thirty individuals I was trying to make their days better. Thirty individuals I was trying to help them feel worth, feel empowered, feel great. 

I couldn't do it some days. I'm human. Their failures became my failures, every one of them. I cried those days that I felt like I couldn't do it. I may have cried quite a bit. (My eternal thanks to those who listened to me on those days I cried.)

No matter how hard those days were, they still needed me. They needed me to listen to their story of what happened at recess. They needed me to laugh at their silly jokes. They needed me to teach them fractions (sometimes over and over and over again) so they could feel confident for the quiz. They needed me to come to school an hour earlier so I could educate them on sea stars in Oceanography Club. They needed me to get them a bandaid, give them a snack, call their mom, take them on field trips etc. etc. etc. So on those hard days, I put on a face, and did the best I could. I just had to hope it mattered.

But, boy, did I love those kids. Every. Single. One. Including the ones that I wished would be kinder, or the ones I wished would try harder... I still think about those kids so much. And I hope they are doing okay.

Whether or not you like school, it's an important aspect of every person's life. It is incredibly difficult for me to watch a place of refuge, learning, and innocence, become a place of unimaginable horror. On top of everything that teachers have to do and worry about, to think what they had to do in Sandy Hook at that moment of terror, is just monumental. 

And of course, those tiny students... I'm absolutely numb.

I guess after everything that has happened this weekend, what I'm trying to say is this: Please don't underestimate what a teacher does. Even the ones who seem to be quietly doing their job. And make sure to say "Thank You" to a teacher as often as you can.

You better believe I thought about my own students this weekend... and of course I hope they are doing okay. Every single one. 

And thank you again, teachers. I hope you feel appreciated.

Happy Trees

Greer, AZ

I've got a list of a thousand things to do, but I'm going to stop for one minute and share to everyone how much I love my family and friends right now.

Here's why:

· He loves to eat waffles at least twice a week, and plan fun outings, and drink soda late at night, and watch scary TV shows, and listen to music all the day long, and plant luscious green winter grass, and go for walks to look at holiday lawn decorations, and record an a m a z i n g album that I am so proud of.

· She has cute pigtails and curly hair, and loves "bubbus" and "doggies", and loves to chase around a ball, and give kisses with delayed 'smack' sounds, and obsess over new shoes, and push grocery carts, and eat an entire apple on a stick, and have dance parties.

· They invite us over for Sunday dinner every Sunday, and prepare us 72 hour kits so we don't have to, and take June to the carousel to ride at least 6 times, and they sew us curtains and blankets, and buy ten different kinds of cheeses, and challenge me to Tetris to which I win triumphantly or lose terribly.

· They throw parties at the last minute that look like it took weeks to prepare for, and serve soup in bread bowls, they recommend good music and TV because I'm so out of the loop, and they have pizza ovens in their backyard with every pizza topping you can dream of, and they are talented and help me to remember to push myself and, most importantly, they make me laugh.

This is terribly written, but it's true.

The end of summer and growing up...

I've had my fair share of fun, summer days these last few months. But I'm ready for fall.

Here's how my summer ended this past Labor Day:

Matt's Big Breakfast // Swimming at the Butte's // Grimaldi's for free Birthday Pizza 

I've been thinking about what I need/want to accomplish before the new year, but I keep having thoughts to slow down and keep it simple. 

And then I feel like I'm all grown up.

It's weird to feel older, sometimes I have mixed feelings about it. (I know... I'm only 28.)  It's been interesting to discover that I've taken on some "old-ish" qualities just within the last few years.

For instance:

· I like the taste of banana peppers, pickles, and Tabasco more and more (not all at once).

· I like traveling, but not to crowded places.

· I prefer staying in than going out. (This might be one of my introvert qualities, but I'm taking it as 'growing older' too.)

· I like rain. (I used to despise it as a teacher because of rainy day schedule. It's also not good for my hair.)

· I don't care what kind of car I drive, as long as it has good AC.

· I love being a mom. A lot. I used to think moms were lame, but I know a lot of cool moms. And I guess even the cool moms are a little lame, but in the best possible way... I just wish I knew that growing up.

· I now realize that my mom and dad DO know what they're talking about.

· I finally see the advantages of living an "early to bed, early to rise" lifestyle. I used to think it was just a "neat" tip, but it actually does make a difference. 

· I am beginning to be more and more appalled with the lyrics and the quality of music that is played on the radio.... like, disgusted... like, I can't believe they were allowed to record this and they're playing it on the radio for anyone to hear... like, ew...

· I like surrounding myself with happy people. It's better for my health.

· Sometimes teenagers make me nervous.

· Ripe fruit and veggies bring me so much joy. Like "I can't believe this came out of the ground and tastes so gloriously amazing!!!!!" kind of joy.

· Puns get funnier to me every year. And I will always laugh at the "So and So called" jokes. (Example: "The ocean called... they're running out of shrimp")

I'll just end by quoting Blink 182: "So I guess this is growing up." 

Nothing says growing up like Blink 182, right?

They say it's your Birthday

I planned on going to a quiet breakfast, getting the house cleaned, then going out to dinner with my family.

That morning, William had already left for work, when I got a text from him: "Dang it sorry I think I left my lunch on the little space out on our patio could you check to see if it's there". I didn't fall for it... I knew something good was about to happen.

I opened the front door and a wall of balloons came down on me, while "Birthday" by the Beatles suddenly blasted on our stereo. 
















William danced into the house and handed me a flyer of Birthday Activities we were to begin right away. 

So that's what we did. (Minus the dance party, we took a nap instead.)


Let me just end by recommending the Griddled Bread Pudding from Liberty Market... and the sweet potato fries from Joe's Farm Grill... and having relatives close by to babysit so you and your husband can go see a mid-morning movie... and having your spouse take work off so you can have the best birthday ever.

Thanks to everyone who celebrated with me. 28 is good to me.

And so, without further ado, I give you...

Remember on Seinfeld when George makes a candy lineup to catch the mechanic because he ate his Twix bar, and when he walked in the Dealership staff was eating his Twix Candy Lineup and he screams "TWIX!" while the camera pans out? I love Seinfeld for his candy references. ("I know the Chunky who ate this Chunky... NEWMAN!")

My parents found out that I have never tried a Clark bar, so what did they do? They went out and and bought every single old-fashioned candy bar they could find, and gave it to me for my birthday.

Hey mom and dad, I've never driven a BMW 2002.

P.S. That Clark Bar was delicious. 

I've unsuccessfully re-fashioned a few shirts in my day, but this one actually looks legit. The neck was too large, and somehow I was able to stitch it up into a proper neck size. Now my life can go on.

See that chalkboard I'm standing in front of? Our goal was to cross off everything before summer ends, and since we decided summer officially ends on Labor day, we still have a few things we need to accomplish before then:

· Matt's Big Breakfast - We heard we have to go early, and it's been pretty difficult waking up early on Saturdays.

· Paint our bedroom - I guess I should clean it first.

· Postino's - Technically I've been, but William hasn't, so I guess I just have to go again. (Oh man I love that place so bad right now.)

· Open Mic Night - Probably won't happen, but at least we've had a couple jam sessions.

· Make a berry pie and homemade tortillas - Actually, I'm planning on making a blueberry tart this week (and I'm counting that as a pie).

· Host Suppa' Club - Sorry we've been slacking, Suppa' Club members. We'll try and hurry it on up.

Everything else was crossed off and made for a busy and fantastic summer. Let's bring on the Fall Festivities.

August and everything else

August is a good month. It's the time that I start looking forward to autumn: cooler weather, school supplies, sweaters (maybe not until November), holidays to get ready for, etc. 

August is a good month because there aren't any major holidays, except for my birthday. I'm not shy about announcing my birthday. When I taught 5th grade, I would make it a week long celebration. I would hang pictures of myself all over the classroom. I would serve my favorite treats to them. It was my way of saying, "We just started another school year, and you guys have it good. Let's celebrate my awesomeness."

Because it's my birthday month, I like to set new goals for my 28th year. 

Here's a sample:

· Carry your camera around

· Eat salad for lunch

· Try a Clark bar. 

San Francisco

I can talk about San Francisco in at least five posts. Lucky for you, I'll keep it at one (maybe two). I expected this city to be amazing. It exceeded my expectations, and we were there for only 48 hours. I already want to go back this very second.

Eat:

• Pizzeria Delfina - get two pizzas, eat both.

• Zazie's for breakfast - particularly their Challah French Toast

• Gott's Roadside - cheeseburger with a side of sweet potato fries AND onion rings

• Sausolito Taco Shop - William said these were the best tacos he's had since his mission in Mexico.

• Salted Caramel Ice Cream from Bi-Rite (I cannot emphasize this one enough.)

Do:

• Bike the bridge

• The Ferry Building on a Farmer's Market Day and sample EVERYTHING

• Trolley Ride to Union Square

• Ride a boat around the Bay

• Muir Woods 

 

While we're on the subject of food...

Yogurt // Free Donut Day at Krispy Kreme //  Grilled corn and burgers //  Sprouts Sandwich //  Free QT donut // Strawberry Colada Bahama Rama Mama //  Taco Night //  That's a cookie and it was delicious // My favorite restaurant in Gilbert (Joe's BBQ)

Last night William and I watched the documentary, Fat, Sick & Nearly Dead. It got me thinking of all the food I eat regularly, which basically can be found in the above photo collage (a series I like to call, "Insta-Ham: Watch Me Eat My Feelings").  The film promotes going on juice cleanse, which I know would make me healthier, but it would also turn me into a crusty, cantankerous banshee.  I asked myself: would the juice fast be worth it?

I decided very quickly I would skip the juice fast. However, I was completely inspired to add more fruits and veggies to my diet.

So here's how it went today:

For breakfast I ate an apple and a slice of whole grain bread.
For my mid-morning snack I reached for a banana, but they were too green.
So instead I ate potato chips.
Now I'm eating leftover smashed potatoes for lunch (which are incredible, by the way), and I plan on getting a half-priced donut at QT when the clock strikes three.

Somebody help me, please.

Routine

I'm trying really hard to be a morning person.

William can attest that I don't like mornings one bit. He's energetic, singing a tune and motivated to do a chore. I'm the complete opposite... grumpy, groggy, and dragging my feet. I save my chores for after lunch. 

Luckily, June is a morning person. She LOVES to wake up. I swear her favorite meal of the day is breakfast (with the exception of dessert, of course). I think I'd be a morning person, too, if I knew that I could take a morning nap.

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Listening to: The new Shins album. I love it. Also, this Mr. Rogers Remix song. (Thanks Daphne.)

Eating: Homemade Dunkaroos. It's just melted chocolate chips and graham crackers. (Remember Dunkaroos?! They were really gross, actually.) 

Planning: An afternoon at the splash pad, healthy dinners, and a Father's Day project for Activity Days.

Watching: John-John on Sesame Street. Remember John-John? Cutest kid on that show. June loves him too. 

About to start reading: The Daughter of Smoke and Bone... I heard good things. 

Change of plans

Last weekend, I was supposed to go to the beach. We had been planning it for months. Then with just a few days left, we decided that I should just stay home.


It was a difficult transition, going from beach-bound to staying at home. William said that on Saturday, I could do whatever my heart desired.


But all my heart desired was the beach and grilling.  


So first we went to the Tempe Beach Park. June experienced her first splash pad. It was bliss for about ten minutes. But we concluded that with all the children running around her and constantly getting squirted with water, it was a little over-stimulating for June. We'll keep practicing.


Arizona BBQ Festival was next. We sampled some of the finest BBQ I've ever eaten. June enjoyed a baked potato and oreos.

Then we came home and let our tummies rest. At 11:30pm, we grilled pizzas.

Missing the real beach wasn't so bad anymore.

(That last photo is of June riding Grandma's Cadillac Escalade Power Wheel with her cousin Emerson. It's there to look awesome and, as a bonus, completes my Instagram photo square.)

P.S. Yes, this is my third post in a short while where most of the photos I'm posting are from my Instagram...I'll try to be better.

Keep Swinging

Lately, it seems my energy level has dropped. I don't know if it's the heat or the overwhelming lists of tasks I've written. 

I'm amazed with how much energy June has sometimes... and then I remember she takes naps, sometimes twice a day.

I think I'll try that.

Plans

I usually get tuckered out around 3pm on a daily basis. I've been working on a list of things I can do when I get tired in the afternoon. A lot of it involves going outside... I need to re-think my options since it's about to hit 100+ degree weather. June is the most hyper at this time too, so I really need to get creative.


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Listening to: The Shins on Pandora Radio because I still haven't bought their new album. What I've heard from it sounds really good.
Watching: waaaay too many cooking shows, especially the competitive type.
Excited: for Mother's Day. I need a day.
Searching: for the perfect camera bag. I need one that doubles as a purse, because I'm tired of carrying so many bags. And I'd prefer if it didn't actually look like a camera bag.
Anxiously: learning Pixelmator. It's hard. Really really hard. I just spent 2 1/2 hours learning and experimenting with only 6 functions. And there's plenty more. I should really take a class.

Being There

It's been that kind of week... the kind when you don't feel like you are doing the best that you can.

I think June can sense I'm having that kind of week too... she wants to be held more, wants to snack on things she's not supposed to snack on, wants to watch another Elmo episode, wants to push the grocery cart (not sit in it), wants to take everything off the shelves, wants to climb the stairs, wants to get out of her car seat, wants to play with our toilet paper, etc.

I can't stay frustrated at a face like that.

Even though it's been that kind of week, I'm still grateful for people who help in the most thoughtful ways:

- The kind that come home after a long day working, and don't care that we're eating macaroni and cheese, frozen pizza, and frozen corn for dinner.

- The kind that share pizzas and salads, play 'VidRhythm', make me laugh, and gush about June even though she's got boogers in her nose.

- The kind that listen to my 'I'm an awful parent!' story and then tells a more revolting (and incredibly funny) story to make me feel less guilty about my parenting experience.

- The kind that help me with unexpected expense, and still buy me a coke every time I come around.

Thanks family and friends.

I'll try something new

I'm on a roll this week with trying new things.

Last night I tried this new recipe:

It did not disappoint.

Tonight I'm trying this recipe.

I'm trying cross-stitching.

William and I are trying to put in a sprinkler system in our yard.

I'm trying to listen to more music, and watch less TV.

I might try buying this new album.

Conference Weekend

Usually conference weekend is bliss, but June had a terrible cough/cold. It was the best because she cuddles when she's sick. It was the worst because she was sick.

Conference weekend inspires me to get my act together. When I want to get my act together, I set goals...

GOALS - memorize one scripture a month, exercise more and eat better to increase spirituality, be positive, and too many more...

In addition to my goals, I made a list of "spring cleaning" tasks I need to do around the house.

When my list became too long, I decided to concentrate on just the upstairs and putting in our side yard.

All this month we'll be painting, organizing, sanding, dropping plenty off at Goodwill, hammering, digging, planting, laying pavers, etc.

Stay nice, weather.

Leap (Year)

Thanks for the flowers, Loves.

In honor of Leap Year, I've compiled a list of times in my life when I took a leap and it was totally worth it:

- That time I leapt on stage to dance with Chuck Berry.

- That time I decided to heed the words of a 3rd grader and "just read Harry Potter it's the best book ever!".

- That time I decided to make a homemade apple pie from scratch.

- That time I jumped into a grocery cart, only to let Daphne push me very quickly into a volleyball court and land face first in the sand (we have video footage somewhere, which makes this one worth it).

- That time I tried that gyro from that sketchy food truck in New York City (I'll take two more, actually).

- That time I decided to go on a first date with that drummer guy who has a hearty laugh, named William Bradford.